Today was horrid. Tomorrow isn’t looking good. I’m hopeful, but Hugo’s plane leaves in a few hours and we’re both still up.
No rest for the weary.
So not only am I going to be bleary eyed and half dead, I have to drive him to the airport, come home and work all day, worry my ass off, be lonely and bored, and THEN the real fun…I get to go pick him up.
Perfect end to a perfectly delightful month.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Today I stepped out on the back porch (the screened one) and I nearly cried. The mountains were purply-blue with mist clinging to them. The sky was grey. The air was cool.
I just walked the dog, his pre bed pee pee you see, and it was COLD out. I was wishing for a hoodie.
My saving grace. It’s fall. It’s almost time for new beginnings. Almost.
One of the Two
I‘m either having a spiritual awakening or my mental illness is soaring for new heights.
Spider animal totem
As a powerful totem animal in many cultures, the spider’s act of weaving
its web may serve as a symbol of the creative process, a warning of
entanglement and deception, or a representation of the illusory spiral
of reality.In India, the spider is the emblem of Maya, the eternal weaver of illusion.
In ancient Greece, the creature and its web was the totemic symbol of
Athene, goddess of wisdom, and the Fates. In Egypt, the spider represented
Neith, the Divine Mother.The Cherokee have a folktale in which it was the spider that answered
humankind’s prayer for fire and brought the mystic energy on its gossamer
web from the Spirit of Flame to the tribes of North America. Other Native
American tribes depict the spider as the sacred weaver that spun the world
into existence, and the industrious, insect remains emblematic of the creative
female force.If you have recently received the spider as your totem animal, you have joined
energies with an ally that will assist you in grasping the interworkings of
personal dynamics more than ever before in your life. You will begin to
have a completely new perspective on how seemingly disparate facets of
your life are all woven together in iintricatepatterns with infinite possibilities.If you have been feeling somewhat dissociated from others and confused
about what specific earthpath you should be following, your spirit helper will
guide you to a much clearer understanding of your niche in life.Spider will also assist you in perceiving the application of ancient wwisdoms
to your life today and help you to separate the webs of illusion and confusion
from your worldview.
One of the Two
I‘m either having a spiritual awakening or my mental illness is soaring for new heights.
Spider animal totem
As a powerful totem animal in many cultures, the spider’s act of weaving
its web may serve as a symbol of the creative process, a warning of
entanglement and deception, or a representation of the illusory spiral
of reality.In India, the spider is the emblem of Maya, the eternal weaver of illusion.
In ancient Greece, the creature and its web was the totemic symbol of
Athene, goddess of wisdom, and the Fates. In Egypt, the spider represented
Neith, the Divine Mother.The Cherokee have a folktale in which it was the spider that answered
humankind’s prayer for fire and brought the mystic energy on its gossamer
web from the Spirit of Flame to the tribes of North America. Other Native
American tribes depict the spider as the sacred weaver that spun the world
into existence, and the industrious, insect remains emblematic of the creative
female force.If you have recently received the spider as your totem animal, you have joined
energies with an ally that will assist you in grasping the interworkings of
personal dynamics more than ever before in your life. You will begin to
have a completely new perspective on how seemingly disparate facets of
your life are all woven together in iintricatepatterns with infinite possibilities.If you have been feeling somewhat dissociated from others and confused
about what specific earthpath you should be following, your spirit helper will
guide you to a much clearer understanding of your niche in life.Spider will also assist you in perceiving the application of ancient wwisdoms
to your life today and help you to separate the webs of illusion and confusion
from your worldview.
Never one to be left out…
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Bug took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!
“Wants to make a favorable impression and be regard…” Click here to read the rest of the results. |
So umm, materialistic, self centered, insecure, manipulative, and stubborn.
Yay! Where’s my cheering section!? Sainthood, here I come!
Feeding The Spiders
As far back as I can remember I have had an odd relationship with spiders. More than once I have been standing in someone’s home only to turn my head and have a spider trickle down from the ceiling and land on me or near me. When I was younger I would go to a sleepover at a friend’s house and wake up with either a spider on me, or climbing the wall next to me, or creeping along the covers.
“I have never seen a spider in this house before, it’s only when you’re here.”
I have heard that SO many times. And I’m sure it’s embarassing for these people to have a guest standing there in their home and everytime this guest is there arachnids fling themselves at her.
At my parents home I would see black widows where my brother was about to put his hand and stop him. My father would hand me something out of our garden to hold and there would be a HUGE black widow on it that he just “didn’t see”.
So now that I have established that I have a relationship with spiders in the waking world, I’d like to talk about my relationship with spiders on the other side.
I wake up several times a night. I have never in my life been a good sleeper. I know some olympian sleepers, and i friends, am not one. Sometimes when I wake up I’m not all the way back into my brain yet and I see things that aren’t there. Well, I guess maybe this world has layers and those things are always there, but anyway.
I wake up and I see people and places. Once I was SURE my walls were covered in crayons. I reached out to touch them and they melted and smeared. I remember sitting in my room at my parents house just running my hands over the walls because i was smearing these damn crayons. It was really beautiful.
Another time I woke up and there were leaves all over the walls, like an ivy, but very very dense. There was a breeze. I could SMELL it. Then they started to turn brown, shriveled, and died. After that, they caught on fire. So i’m sitting in the middle of my floor just looking around at my room ON FIRE. I woke up in the floor the next day. I dont remember going back to sleep.
So the point to this post…
Is it weird that I wake up and see spiders on my walls, on my book cases, on me, on my bed, on the ceiling? It used to freak me out when I was younger and I’d wake up yelling and my brothers would come check on me and there would be nothing there. Now, I simply reach over, turn up the light, and make sure there really isn’t a creepy critter about to crawl on me.
This ever happen to anyone else once or twice, let alone, nearly every night of their life?
Or am I alone here too…