Friday Friday
I‘ve been in a writing mood lately. Anyone who knows me probably knows that’s an indication that i’m severly depressed and usually thinking of ways to hurt myself.
Joy.
I just wrote a lot of really honest things. I sat staring at the input box thinking “they wouldn’t understand”. But i know you would. I also know that honesty like that is unnerving and irritating at best. Things like that are best left for the therapists to hear, not my friends.
that and it makes me look like a weak asshole. which i’m not. regardless of what you think of me.
What can i share? I started crying today before 9:40am. New record for me.
I do now, as i always have. I deal. I deal in my own time and my own way.
What’s so wrong? What can be this horrible?
It’s nothing and its everything.
Life right now is like being able to run but having your arms tied behind your back…then you trip and fall into a puddle. And now you have dirt in your eyes.
chase the frothy bubbles…
One day this will be a far distant memory. I might laugh. I might cry. I might hold onto it for dear life.
I might be old in my bed. I might be dying on the side of a road. I might be in a hospital. I might be having fun and suddenly remember.
But this too will pass…
already under the waves
Today has been a bad day. Stressful. Disappointing. Obnoxious. Emo.
Hugo has been taking it pretty hard which I take hard and then, stupidly enough, take out on him, making it harder on him.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this work/living/loving environment and it just can’t go on forever like it is. Modern man wasn’t made to live and work in the same space their share with their significant other. I am going totally crazy.
I wouldn’t mind it if Hugo stayed home and fiddled with computers and changed that gear in the Corvette transmission….while I went to work at like, Denso or something.
I would like it a whole lot more if the company were a tiny little part of our lives, instead of this havoc wreaking monster of unspeakable horrors.
On another hand it is nice to have control over your schedule and to not have to drive far to get back to the one you love.
My Friends
I‘d like it a whole lot if everyone who reads this (on LJ or otherwise) would recommend an album to me.
Arrrrrr…
I‘m apparently a quiz whore right now…
