What’s new…

1. I finally moved webhosts. Blue host is win.
2. I joined a gym
3. We got a new roommate

That’s about all the retrospection I can handle for one post. Onward!

I’m giving up dairy for 3 months to see if my breathing improves. I’ve had a low level sinus infection since Thanksgiving. I can’t seem to shake it and mammary secretions seem to make it worse and the internet is backing me up on this so…goodbye gooey goodness. If it doesn’t improve I’ll head to the dr. I’m not wasting good money so someone can tell me what I already know. (You’re fat. Oh…and here, have some antibiotics.) I keep rinsing my sinuses out with a neti pot but some mornings I really feel like I need a pressure washer.

A partially related sidenote: I should start eating more salmon and fewer (no?) chicken nuggets. Mechanically separated chicken parts that have been breaded and deep fried are not food (no matter how delicious and crunchy they are). I need to find a good source of frozen salmon. We’re a bit too far inland for me to trust something being “fresh.”

Last week someone on LJ decided that they had become too big and important to keep me (and many others) on their friends list. I’m conflicted about this. On one hand they have every right. On the other… how pretentious. Not that I don’t have my pretentious moments (and they are filled with some breath taking twattery, admittedly) but if Neil Gaiman can be and OMEGA MEGA EPIC author of the highest caliber and still manage to keep a public blog then I don’t know who this person thinks they are fooling. I know sometimes we have to make grand gestures to keep ourselves on the up and up but ugh. So many blogs I had been reading for years, ended in 2009 leaving my RSS reader with nothing more than a “Dear John, It’s been real and it’s been fun.”

They don’t owe me anything. Even though I’d go to their site, read their stories, click their ads, leave comments, laugh, cry, and be “involved” through their sharing… Maybe I’m too clingy. Maybe I’m too needy. Maybe I feel abandoned a little too easily. I’ve outgrown people and people have outgrown me. Most of the time it is nothing personal but every now and again you can’t help but feel that there is something wrong with you. That you keep flinging yourself into a voyeuristic, one sided relationship where you interact, hoping that someone will interact back.

I’ve thought that maybe the trick is to not expect people to reciprocate and I am at the point now where I fully expect people not to give a fart, let alone a shit, whether I read their mindless drivel or leave a comment. Negative self fulfilling prophecies haven’t been my thing since high school so I’m returning to that good old standby: wide-eyed, hopeful, foolish optimism followed with a well timed “fuck you,” when things go sour.

This isn’t a jab at any of my dear readers. I love you. If you’re reading then that is one person more than i’d ever expected to read this crap.

I mean well, I’m well well, I mean I’m in hell, well I still have my health, at least that’s what they tell me.
If wellness is this, what in hells name is sickness?
But business is business and business runs in the family.

We tend to bruise easily.
Mad in the blood.
I’m telling you cuz I want you to know me – know me & my family.
Amanda Palmer – Runs In The Family

Cobalt SS by bekabug