Why I have low expectations of a place to call home, Part 1
One of the first things people remark on about me (after they manage to get me to talk; I’m shy, you see) is that I do not have a Tennessee accent. Each time I hear “You ain’t from ’round here, are ya?” a tiny bubble of joy coalesces inside me. From this place, but not of it…thank you, God.
Nana (maternal grandmother) was born in Brooklyn, NY and raised, for the most part, in Florida. Grandpa’s (maternal grandfather) family was from North Carolina though they came to East Tennessee for some stupid reason that is still kind of touchy to talk about (put a pin in that). Papaw (paternal grandfather) is also from North Carolina. Mamaw (paternal grandmother) was born in Cades Cove. So in order here we’ve got Irish, Irish, Welsh, and Scotch-Irish.
So, for the most part… Not From Tennessee. Also, really poor. < / genealogy-lesson >
My relatives that are from here, that would be the aunts/uncles/cousins that married people from here and had kids here…talk like a bunch of weirdos. It’s not just the accent either, they’re just…ignorant and happy about it. This is what I hate about Tennessee. It seems like nearly everyone here is just like this. Reveling in their intellectual poverty and proud of it.
Yeah you can say there are people like this everywhere and that’s probably true… One of my favorite customer stories involves a family that moved to Maryville from somewhere in Oklahoma. The mother of the family and I talked and she assumed I was not from East Tennessee. She was surprised when I told her I was “born and raised” then asked me what is wrong with people here. I wish I knew.
Another thing about this place that drives me up the wall is the fascination with all things “country.” I’ll use music as my example because a relevant blog post over at pribek.net got me to thinking about this. These people are bloody well enthralled by something if you make it seem like it’s part of some sort of “Hillbilly Culture” which has been contrived from a bunch of bullshit nonsense that has nothing to do with anything. Sing a song equating your woman to a sweet little country dingleberry stuck on the back of a 4-wheeler tire and every stupid skanky “country girl” between Knoxville and Memphis will say it’s their favorite damn song for six to nine weeks and you will sell MILLIONS of…somethings…iTunes singles? I don’t know much about the music industry in that regard but I do know how to spot and steer clear of stupid chicks with pink real tree seat covers that hang around redneck bars and holler “Oh, this is my song!” while dragging their equally vacuous and obnoxious boyfriend/husband to the dance floor.
I do not find this garbage the least bit entertaining nor do I find that mindset/lifestyle/mess even casually interesting from the outside. This is probably one of the reasons I have ONE female friend outside of internet acquaintances. She, as it so happens, is actually country. I would happily and proudly define her as such because she’s a good person and I love her and she’s not a completely vapid dipshit. (Jess if you ever find this you know how I mean it. ♥) She listens to classical music, has a degree, and she reads books…with chapters.
(Taking the pin out of it now) Grandpa’s people are in the Boone, NC area. I’d never met any of them until this past summer when I got dragged out to a family reunion. Grandpa’s dad apparently upset a few folks when he up and decided he didn’t want anything to do with the kind of life he was living and moved to TN. I wondered what they would think of us. I wasn’t worried about it but I am vain enough to let those kinds of thoughts drift around in my consciousness for a bit.
As it turns out I come from some pretty fabulous country folk. They were kind and welcomed us as part of the family, fed us, explained who was who about 9 times. Among them, more than ever, I was able to really see the difference between real country people and the bottom-feeders of TN. And yeah, there are probably other places (Pensyltucky, anyone?) than TN these type of cretins live and breed but I know TN so…write what you know, yeah?
They all had degrees from App State. They lived on land that’s been in the family for a long, long time. They were decent, intelligent, hard working, respectable, pleasant-to-be-around people. To say I’m disappointed I wasn’t raised there among them is fair and understated.
