Where am I?

I’m sitting in the kitchen, that’s where. Hugo gave me my “bonus” for the year.

I have a new Dell laptop now and wireless and iTunes libraries shared across the network and it’s all so fun it’s really quite nauseating so I won’t dwell on it.

I set up my first secured wireless access point the other day. Not a major accomplishment but it’s something to me because I have never done it before. It’s not exactly WEP secure, but there are only 3 computers in the world that can connect to it now. Tadaaaa. Go bug.

Today is the last day of the calendar year. I have a lot to do. I want the house cleaned from top to bottom today. As well as can be done anyway. I’d like to do some things like wax my arms and shave and braid my hair. My car needs vacuuming and I need to check the oil. I think it’s a tad optimistic of me to expect to get this all done today, especially since it’s 10am and I’m sitting in Hugo’s floor typing away in my journal. But this is my agenda, hopeless or not. I’m thinking I can do it if i have enough coffee and start praying.

Speaking of praying… I read a book recently. If you are a wiccan/pagan/eclectic whatever, I cannot recommend it enough. [Go Check It Out] (Per the author’s own suggestion, try to find it at a small local metaphysical store before you run to borders. I couldn’t find it anywhere but borders around here though so if you’re a local friend…there ya go.)

Somedays I check out my horoscope and i roll my eyes and somedays i look at it and go “wow” and then sit and ponder on it for days and days.

Last night was Friday night. I’m 23 years old. I have no children. I have never been married. We spent the entire evening cleaning our refridgerator and freezer. It needed doing. It hadn’t been done as long as i had lived here. We took all the food out, all the shelves out, scrubbed, rearranged, windexed, and piled it all back in. About 90% of the way through this adventure it hit me that yes i’m a young woman and i’m spending my time cleaning a refridgerator when I could be out doing something fun. The strange part of this is that it didn’t bother me exactly. I lamented a lack of excitement for a split second then it was over. It needed to be done, I was spending time with Hugo and his OCD and feeling just as content as I ever could.

Your warm, loving, romantic nature is being noticed whether you realize it or not, Virgo. Perhaps you feel sometimes that there is not enough excitement in your life - especially your love life. Don’t think that this means you need to change yourself in order to be more pleasing to others. The truth is that your stability and quiet, loving nature are extremely nurturing and comforting to those who understand and appreciate such qualities. The last thing you want to do today is put up a facade of someone you are not.

I haven’t had any animals on my plate since a little before Christmas now. The cravings are ebbing slightly. I still think about chicken. I still want it sometimes but mostly I want a big bowl of cole slaw. I snagged some veggie bacon at the store last night and plan to go nutty wild making tomato, cheese, and veggie bacon sammiches for lunch today.

I have picked up the torch for my spiritual pracitces lately. The last time I did was the first time I dedicated myself to paganism without knowing really what that would mean for me. Basically, I asked to be renewed with this path, given a fresh start, etc, etc. My life promptly fell apart and took a long ass time to get back together.

I quit hastings cause I am so totally sick of it I want to DIE. My faithful little car has to be gotten rid of. Slack and are thrown out of our apartment. I lose all my animals because we can’t find anywhere that will let us have them that we can afford. Find a nice house to live in, get our shit together (ish). I discover drugs and alcohol thanks to the new people we were sharing the house with. Get a little too involved in that scene. Find myself quite pregnant, but only realize that i’m pregnant as i’m writhing on my bed mid-miscarriage. The strain is too much on Slack and I and I bow out gracelessly and run and run and run.

Lots more changes for me now coming ahead I think, but I’m calm about it. I can handle anything that gets thrown at me. I don’t belive i’m made of sterner stuff than others, i’m just quite sure that the universe doesn’t give you more homework than you can honestly handle.

You may be going through a great deal of personal changes at this time, and others may find that there is a difference even in the way you carry yourself. Today’s conjunction between Mercury and Pluto is asking you to think carefully about who you are and who you want to become. Are you really living up to your full potential? Consider ways in which you can better your professional and personal life.

One more thing on my agenda tonight is to go to the gym tonight and go back tomorrow. We have a 24 hour door card and I have been exactly 3 times. In 2 years. Shameful really. Anyone that knows my personal life and professional life though, knows that’s all I usually have energy in me most days. But i’m going to commit to change that. My schedule I wrote about a while back has been going well for me. I have been keeping the house picked up. The laundry not so much, my bedroom not at all…but I am trying so I don’t feel much guilt over it.

I really have to fix up my temple though. Lots of cobwebs and dust bunnies that need to be taken care of. This isn’t like a resolution or anything. It just happened to be the end of the calendar year. The new year for me was back in October and I wasn’t quite where I needed to be in my life to orchestrate these changes. I’m here though. I’ve got my Rocky face on and my shoes are untied but I’m ready.

As always, don’t forget you’re reading my diary.

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