ecosavvy

it is saturday and i am sitting in my bedroom eating potato soup, listening to geek.farm.life, and playing harvest moon: awl. i think i was a farmer/farmer’s wife in a past life. i’m sort of obsessed with the idea of having a farm.

i’m listening to episode 77 and misty and andrew are talking about their farm has outgrown their needs and they discuss their plans for downsizing. i hear words like chops, ribs, bacon….and i see this in my mind. they are talking about sending their animals off to slaughter in the fall. the goats? they won’t be keeping the boys. they’ll be breeding 2 of the girls. they’re getting rid of the beautiful ram. misty is considering getting rid of her entire flock of sheep. i worry about a baby boy goat/lamb that doesn’t even exist yet because they say something like “knocking in the head” and “newborn is a delicacy”.

i am not naive. i know where meat comes from. i know how cheese is made. i understand that in order for humans to keep beehives going, you’ve got to open the lid of the hive occasionally and kill the queen. i get it. i am mindful of my participation, necessary and unnecessary, in the food chain.

what i also get? is that there is no way on earth i could take a newborn from it’s mother and send it off to slaughter. i could not look at a rabbit hutch and think of casseroles. bacon only means “pig flesh” to me. i can not look at an animal and see anything in it other than a fellow earthling.

i could not deprive that mother the chance to care for her baby. i could not allow that animal to become a mother for that reason under my watch. i could not keep that animal knowing the only way i could “justify” her existence would be to breed her and take her babies away. that would mean, i’d also not have any meat, milk, cheese, or butter. i also understand that you cannot keep an animal if you cannot afford to feed it or if it doesn’t generate a sufficient return on your investment.

i am not condemning misty and andrew for what they do, because i really enjoy their podcast and think that their lifestyle is admirable. i’m just saying, ‘not for me, thanks just the same.’ i love having these experiences and am grateful for the opportunity to grow and learn. my gut reaction about hearing someone talking about slaughtering spring lambs is horror. i can take this feeling and carry it with me to the grocery store and to the dining room table.

it is a blessing to have the absolute clarity that my truth tells me whether its in cellophane, a tin can, on a plate, or on a stick, that nothing has to bleed or suffer for me to survive.

i am never going to be a vegan because of the definition of veganism. for instance, i don’t think eating chicken’s eggs is bad. i don’t approve of the conditions of commercial egg farms (don’t misunderstand me here, i am totally against industrialized farming practices), but if i had a flock in my back yard, i would have no problem cleaning out their unfertilized eggs. i wouldn’t cry for the potential in that egg any more than i do over my own eggs month to month. every chance for life can’t be allowed because resources are finite. that is our reality.

i am never going to be a vegan, but i think that is ok with me as long as i can say ‘vegetarian’ and be speaking my truth.

i still want a farm though…with goats for show and chickens…and LOTS of vegetables in the garden.