Geek

First…
There was Cooking Mama. Cute game. You cook. It is obviously aimed at younger girls but I have seen and heard of boys and men playing and enjoying the games as well. Then there was Gardening Mama. You garden. Still…a cute game. The ‘Mama’ franchise was created and copyrighted by Majesco Sales, Inc. and has produced a very successful set of games for the Nintendo DS and the Nintendo Wii. This comic came out last year and while it amused some people, others not so much. Since I’m writing this email to you, you can probably guess which group I was in. Misogyny and physical abuse don’t exactly tickle my funny bone.

What game came out this Tuesday? Science Papa by Activision Inc.

I am angry for all sorts of reasons. Not only did Activision BLATANTLY rip off Majesco’s franchise, but they had to do it in a sexist way (no offense to the Papas out there). You can essentially assume that every game is targeted at boys and men unless it is pink or has a my little pony on the front of it.

When Majesco was asked for a comment on the game back in May, they responded with a comment from Mama herself.

"So you want some dirt on "Science Papa" to splash on your site? I’ll shovel it. We dated briefly (when he had much better hair). And now he clearly wants a piece of the best-selling pie by associating himself with an incredibly successful, and I’ll emphasize, happily married, woman. Frankly, he never appreciated my cooking and I grew weary of his tedious "experiments." You want real mind-bending science, go figure out how to make Toulouse Cassoulet for your next dinner party of 20 and let me know how it goes, Papa.

Well played, but Majesco COULD have done the female gaming sector right by making a Science Mama game long ago.

When I was growing up, there were no games targeted at young girls, young women, or adult women. The fact is that things that are targeted at women are made by men and are typically offensive to women. It’s annoying. We get it. You try, we get pissed. Make things for us but don’t make it totally obvious that you don’t give a shit by slapping a pink finish on something and calling it a day.

This is where Nintendo has typically done well and continues to do well. They’ve been chastised for their games being “too childish” but really the games are engaging, thought provoking, and typically gender neutral. You can enjoy most (I’m sure there are exceptions to this but I can’t think of any) Nintendo games without being fully submersed in realistic and extreme violence, sexism, or partriarchy.

Lets also remember Metroid. An action adventure game that came out for the Nintendo back in 1987 with a totally bad ass female lead with a compelling back story, Samus Aran. This was a first in the video game industry and still a bit of a rarity because to this day the Metroid franchise is not about sexually objectifying Samus; it’s about Samus kicking ass and taking names. This is unlike the Tomb Raider franchise where the obnoxiously proportioned Lara Croft is merely rich, hot and goes on archaeological adventures for one reason or another.

I played King’s Quest at my Nana’s but some of the themes were a little over my head and the puzzles just a bit too hard. The Nintendos and other consoles that my brothers, a cousin and myself shared at Nana’s house were usually occupied by someone other than myself. If I whined long enough, I could get a turn in their multi-hour sessions but by that time I was so nervous and excited, with all these eyes watching, that I died almost immediatly, almost every time.

So I found something else to do. At home, when the computer wasn’t being used for playing Dark Forces or Oddworld, I was playing the Trivia game in Encarta 95. I played Netscape Composer. I played Paint. When we finally got internet, I learned how to pirate software and music. I learned how to script for programs like mIRC. I learned how to use the internet. I learned how to play Photoshop. I learned how to play Regedit. I learned how to play command.com. I made friends that I still have to this day, which is something I can’t say public school provided me.

I was irritated at my lack of games and gaming ability growing up, but looking back I can’t help but think of it as a blessing. I used to get made fun of because I was such a geeky nerd. I used to get in trouble over being online at all hours, messing up the computer, and fiddling with things. But now is different. Being a geeky nerd makes me happy and it makes me money. I have my own games on my own consoles, and I can play whenever I want to, as badly as I need to. I have my own computers and I can learn about anything I want to and break them and put them back together as often as I need to.

So buy your sons and daughters Cooking Mama and Science Papa, if you must, but please buy them books too. Teach your sons how to clean and your daughters how to change the oil. Teach them their self worth before some asshole with a magazine ad, a commercial, a tv show, or a video game beats you to it.

I saw the Macbook Air Ad on the tv for the first time while i was doing the dishes one night. I heard the first few notes of the song and was immediately irritated.

I like that song…stupid Macbook….

I knew that song.

Where had I heard that song? . . . . . . So this morning it hits me; MySpace. http://www.myspace.com/yaelnaim Good music…shitty computer.

Oh and I HATE the 1st gen Macbook Air if you couldn’t tell. What a piece of garbage. Everyone that wants one needs a thorough examining by a professional. I once said that Oprah could put her seal of approval on the biggest piece of crap book…like photocopies hairy asses… and everyone would flock to it like every copy was stuffed with $100 bills. Well at this point Steve Jobs could put a single USB port on a steaming turd and the same thing would happen. The macbook air is, imho, a very thin steaming turd with a single USB port. And the people…of they are flocking and drooling and bowing and coveting…the most crippled and useless computer to come out since 1990.

The only nice thing I have to say about it? The display is mercury and arsenic free so when you bump it or sneeze near it and it flies into a million expensive pieces you can stomp on it in your driveway without getting toxic death all over your shoes. Woz is behind this, somehow. I can feel it.

Now I have to go make cookies before I have an aneurysm.

And yes, I am a fangirl.