Feeding The Spiders

A girl, a guy, 2 dogs and some code

ending the transition

June12

I have wanted to be a vegetarian since I was a little kid. My family’s lifestyle didn’t support it at the time, so I told myself “As soon as I am on my own, I’ll be a vegetarian.” When it came time for me to move out, though, I didn’t stop eating meat. I kept up with old habits. Pound after pound packed on and here 5 years later, I am not doing any better regarding my relationship with food.

I have used fancy phrases like “transitioning vegetarian” & “pesco vegetarian” and what it feels like to me is a big fat lie. I am not living my truth and I am realizing now how this is affecting myself and my relationships.

Yesterday I had the last hot dog I will ever eat. It tasted so good, but I physically felt ill after eating it. I knew I was making the wrong choice while I was making it and I made it anyway!! WHY do I do this to myself?? Well, says I to me, enough.

My ideal would be veganism. On one hand, going cold turkey and jumping in with both feet could be the best way to keep me from cheating or it could drive me completely crazy.

I have always had it in my head that I couldn’t call myself something until I had proven to the gods that I had become worthy of a title, but you know what? I’m through with that. I need some real affirmation from within that I am on the right track with my life.

I am an artist. I am creative. I am a vegetarian. I am a compassionate being. I am an Earth loving Pagani. I am an environmentalist. I am a scholar. I am healthy. I am a very rad citizen of the cosmos. I am blessed. I am a domestic genius. I am content.

There. *deep breath* Feels good.

above the emptiness

June9

eco

06-08-06sumtreepretty_eyesthatslay.jpgIn an attempt to do something, I’ve been buying ecologically friendly cleaning products.
So far I have tried 3 different Seventh Generation products. Sadly enough, I have had 3 bad experiences with these products. I really wanted them to work out for us because SG is an American company and they have their hearts in all the right places.

Dish soap, dishwasher detergent, and laundry detergent. All of them with very meh performance. It might be our water. I kinda doubt it. I was at a local health food store and they had some Ecover products, a Belgian company with a good reputation. I picked up the dish soap, hoping it would be better. It was a lot better. It was tons better. So today I replaced a bunch of stuff around the house with Ecover merch: softener, laundry detergent, dishwasher detergent, & dish soap. All of it Vegan certified but the dish soap…it has milk whey in it to soften your skin (oh how it works. sorry cows. :( )

random

  • i tried to buy domesticity.com but it is taken and the registrant never responded to my attempts to purchase. poo.
  • domesticity.org is pending deletion because the registrant did not renew it. it’s so mine.
  • i would give…way too much money to find this because i want an apron so bad.
  • apparently kombucha is vegan.
  • i’m having trouble finishing lolita. i can handle disaster when it surprises me, but when i know it is inevitable as the sunset i freeze.

“pet” “food”

March18

in the interest of spreading the word….

there has been a pet food recall with a big list of brands on it.

if you have pets, please check it out.

[authors note: This went on for way longer than I had intended. I just wanted to get some things off of my mind to see if i could work it out “on paper” and if it still sounded as rational as it does in my head to move forward. If you’re interested in leaving a snide/rude/hateful comment when you’ve finished reading this, if you finish reading it, I’d encourage you to look inside yourself and see why you would feel the need to do that.]

It is interesting that this should come out now. I’ll really try to keep this from sounding like a Peta ad, but I make no promises. It just so happens that over the last week Hugo and I have been researching alternatives for feeding Charlie and Dub. If you have never heard this before pet grade foods are industrial waste mashed into cute shapes. They are disgusting. They stink. They contain fecal matter. They contain prions from the nervous systems of diseased animals. I cringe when I see someone buying the cheapest dog food in the store. Not, necessarily, because that is all they can afford, but because “they’re just animals. What do they care?” It breaks my heart.

I abhor having to support the meat industry every time I put food into Dub and Charlie’s bowls. What should I do, though? Sacrifice his wellbeing to satisfy my sense of right? I don’t think so. I don’t call myself a vegetarian because I’m not. On occasion, though it isn’t very often or very much, I eat meat. I usually feel bad afterwards. I don’t know why I do it, but I do it less and less as time goes on. It would be wrong to stand up here and wag my finger with a turkey sandwich in my fist. You know what though, I am trying.

This recall has only steeled my reserve to take my family (yes) off of all manufactured foods. We’re working on the garden. It is going to take some time…the soil needs to be tested and most assuredly amended. We probably won’t be able to plant this year.

But my furry friends…ahh how can I take care of them and still make it convenient on me? Raising animals for us to slaughter for them is out of the question. Not only would that not be convenient I just couldn’t bear to do it or have it done. I could buy large quantities of raw meats and make my own dog food but that takes time to purchase it, time to prepare it, and space to store it. That and raw meat grosses me right out of the room. One of the major reasons I have NEVER been into eating or buying meat. I’d have to take it home and cook it and ew.

I found it interesting that when an article came out last year that scientists were able to actually clone and grow slabs of meat in a lab instead of having to slaughter a living being for it, most meat eaters I know thought that was the most nasty thing they had ever heard. The vegans though? They are hungry for cruelty free steaks. (I’m kidding, I don’t speak for vegans.)

I wonder sometimes what would happen if we all stopped eating meat. What if the world woke up vegan tomorrow? We wouldn’t need to breed cows and chickens and pigs anymore. What would happen to them? Would entire species go the way of the dinosaur just because it was no longer profitable for them to exist. That thought makes me just as sad as all the other thoughts I have had while writing this post. Maybe we would start feeding our animals better? Fillet mignon for Spot and salmon steaks for Fluffy.

Until then, I’ve found an alternative that I think will satisfy Dub’s nutritional requirements and my ethical ones. The Honest Kitchen has raw dehydrated dog and cat foods containing human grade meat products and none of the icky by-products. I ordered a sample of each dog formula, fed Dub his usual dinner, and then set all 4 samples down in front of him. I knew which one he would go after first and I was right. It smelled the most delicious. There was only one he wouldn’t eat or touch at all and I didn’t blame him. It looked and smelled like the contents of a rabbits stomach. Rather like something a lawnmower would throw up.

I’ve done the math, I won’t bore you with it and you can compare and see for yourself if you’d like. The Honest Kitchen food isn’t that much more, pound for pound, than things you can get at Petsmart and Walmart. I used Iams, Beneful, and Natures Recipe in my own research. The only thing I haven’t actually tried myself is finding and obtaining local and organic ingredients and making it myself. Maybe one day.

For now, I suppose I can be happy with what I am not feeing my furry friends even if I cannot be totally satisfied with what I am feeding them.

ecobag update #1

January13

Number of Cashiers that have mocked me : 1
Number of People who have commented positively: 1

So far, so good.