i’m sitting in my car in the driveway. i could go inside but i’d be alone in a big dark house and thats not really what i want for myself on new years eve.

i was at my parents’ house yesterday and i asked my mom what our plans were and she said she had none. she calls me today and is making a cheeseball. i love my mom. dad has to work tomorrow so it’ll probably be a very quiet celebration. i’ve been trying to spend oodles of time with her lately. i know she misses nana badly. she doesn’t have a sister (like myself) and she was very close to nana…they spent *a lot* of time together. life sucks pretty hard sometimes.

i think i want kids because i’m selfish. i want someone to cry for me when i die. i want someone to miss me. i want someone to visit me on holidays. i don’t want to be alone.

giving hugo 3 minutes before i call him. 3 minutes makes it an hour since we last spoke and he said he was going to leave the jobsite and come on home. i’m still in the driveway.

my resolution is to keep at it and maybe get somewhere.

happy new year.

Share This