shadows

“My point about alcohol is that if you abuse something, it abuses you back.” ― Michka Assayas,

I randomly went to check on 2 people this week, not even acquaintances. I just stalk their pages. People I admired and discovering, a few days apart, that they were no longer with us; they haven’t been with us for some time now. Kris Nóva is a less mainstream personality but still I feel like I should have gotten that memo sooner. The lack of details makes me nervous about this situation but what details we have are that she died doing what she loved.

As chronically online as I am it’s very strange I didn’t learn about Heather Armstrong’s suicide until yesterday. I’m unsettled.

I first started reading Dooce when she got fired for her blog. 2002. It was a hilarious novelty at the time, to get fired for your online diary. But her spirit, photography, and writing hooked us. We laughed through moves, a marriage, a kitchen remodel, a pregnancy, a sewer line, a birth, a baby. I read on in fear at her struggles with post-partum depression. More life. Mental health crisis. More living. Another baby. A divorce.

My alcohol-free sobriety journey has been ticking away for 2,086 days (5 years, 8 months, and 15 days). I’ve never slipped but I could. I really thought we would win. I didn’t think her story would end like this.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Lifeline) is accessible nationwide by dialing 800-273-TALK (8255)

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”